“As I Wake” by Elizabeth Scott pulls you in from the very first sentences. The books is everything and more the excerpt promised the book would be. Going in, based on the excerpt, you think you have a handle on what the book will contain, what the plot will be, and possibly how it ends, but when reading this I couldn’t have been more wrong.
You enter the story with Ava. She wakes up terrified, confused, lost, unsure of anything… even who she is. Ava has a woman who has claimed her, reassuring her that everything is going to be alright, that she’s wanted, and safe, but even though Ava doesn’t know her, she can’t remember her. Somehow Ava know that there is no possible way she can remember her. They, all the doctors and her “mother” tell her that her memories are gone, that she’ll get them back, but when she tries to remember she’s met with nothing but a pain so strong within her mind she gives up trying to remember for the moment.
You continue with Ava… as Ava, as she fumbles around and tries so hard to be who everybody says she supposed to be, as she tries to remember a life she can’t no matter how hard she tries and at the same time starts remembering a life that is impossible, but is more real to her than anything she has experienced so far; a memory of a time, a life, a world, that shouldn’t be real, but is to her.
What we do understand is that Ava fell in love and as she is trapped with no memories or false memories or dreams… (She doesn’t know what they are) that’s the only thing we have to hold onto as Ava decides whether or not she should pursue those dream like memories or try and fit into the life she has found herself in.
I had so many predictions on who Ava was (really) and what had happened to her, but most of my guesses turned out not to be true and what Scoot was able to reveal of Ava and her world and how she decided Ava’s ending was brilliant. I never could have foreseen the last scene with Ava and Jane. This story was beautiful through and through.
Scott is able to paint beautiful scenes, thoughts, characters, and worlds in such an easy manner that you can’t help but reach the end not knowing how you arrived so soon.
“I never knew what love was until Morgan. Love–real love–can’t be defined. It just is. It just lives in your heart, like it lives in mine.”
Elizabeth Scott weaves two personalities into one. She describes our world with a new light, a new perspective. Scott does a wonderful job at revealing only the details we need to know about the other world Ava is able to remember so resolutely. We are given only the feeling of fear that other world generates for all its citizens. We are only given the understanding of how dangerous and suffocating her world is. We don’t quite understand what everything is or why everything in that world is the it is or how it came to be that way.
“As I Wake” is completely worth the time and the feelings that will be brought up during the read. This story is for anybody and every body and I recommend it to all.
I have yet to have the chance to pick up Scott’s other works, but if you are interested here is a link to Scott’s Page and list of other books she has written.