HELP: Sonnet Edditon

In high school I was very much into writing poetry. I would compose two or three new poems a week. Ever since I graduated from my high school I have not written much poetry and lately I have been wanting to pick that back up again something fierce.

Back in school I did a lot of free form poetry, but that is not what I most want to get back into writing. Once, for a senior English assignment we were to write a sonnet in any form a sonnet might take. I chose to write a Shakespearean style sonnet and through the whole process I loved it! That particular style has been what I’ve been wanting to jump back into. I’ve been reading up on how to form a Shakespearean sonnet as well as reading a few here and there, but other than that I don’t really know what I’m doing. At this time writing sonnets and writing them well are tingling at the tips of my fingertips.

Today I jumped in and wrote one, but I know there are numerous ways to make my sonnet better and that’s where you come in dear readers and lovers of poetry. I would love nothing more than to receive honest criticisms and advice on how to change and upgrade my sonnet to make it something worth reading. If you don’t like a line then please comment a better one of your own. I promise not to adopt your line, but I do promise to take away what it is you are trying to teach me. Help, any help at all would be most welcome.

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The heart always longs for a love so near.

Can it hold on to hope to bring the light?

-Push forth through the hours of dark and fear,

to hold the great depths of loves truest bright?

When one waits and cradles a patient time-

Time can be the form of ones purest guide.

Maybe though, the universe breaths a mime…

And, oh, the cold can turn essence to pride!

The soul must carry what you surely give

And the heart must practice that which its fed,

heart and soul and patience entwine must live

and the past of darkened light must be shred.

Together the light forms the perfect mix.

One can be shown the beams of future ships.

Please any help at all.

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Author: FountainPenHandwriting

I love to read, watch tv, write, play sports, listen to music. I'm pretty much an average person. I have an insanely large family, but I love them all. I started this blog to get me back into the habit of writing everyday which I stopped doing for many different reasons. I do try to live up to what I tell people and what I project into the world. I can't promise to be interesting, funny, or, yes, even creative, but here we go anyway.

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