A Start

I remember at one point telling you all that changes would be happening rapidly and repeatedly. Well turns out I was right. Many things have happened since I last posted up, but all that really needs to be said here is that I am now living in Colorado.  I’ve been here for three weeks working for the very friends who we come to see on our vacations here.

For a while there, before I left Texas, I was working at Dairy Queen trying to keep busy and figure out my next move. I only worked there a month and before that I was living as a bum with my parents. But the job offer came from our friends here in Colorado and I took it without a second thought. It wasn’t a careless decision, working here had been heavy on my heart for some time… I haven’t quite figured out why yet. Hey! Give me a break I’ve only been here three weeks. But all I know since being here is that I have felt more like myself than I have in ages.

I don’t know what it is about this town and these people that keep me feeling alive. I made the connection the other day when I realized when I was here last summer, I was more alive and writing more than I ever did before our summer vacation. I guess there will always be those few places in life that call to you and speak to you in ways no others can.

I’m no longer trying to find things to keep me busy… to keep me from merely getting through my day. I’m trying new things, wanting to actually start doing some of the things I love. Since being here my writing time for my novel (that I have recently picked up again) has heightened greatly despite my work day. The creative juices are flowing once more, I have Idea after Idea on how to keep my story moving along. Also, it helps that I have a friend here who is also a writer, shout out to Ben!! It’s nice to have somebody to bounce ideas off every once in a while or ask questions that most people would question my sanity for asking.

At the moment I have currently hit over 10,000 words and 30 pages on my current writing project. I still have many doubts as I continue to try and bring this story out of the ashes. I question every scene, every character, and every word I write. I know that doing such is probably quite normal, but I can’t help but wonder if this will ever be read by any mass group. At this stage I’m half and half on my desire of sending it out into the world once it’s finished or keeping the story closely clutched to my chest, keeping it safe. Any other time I try to remind myself not to think too hard on what the future may hold and just enjoy writing my story.

I keep being told that to have others read your work, even before it’s finished, helps you as a writer. I know this. I do. What writer hasn’t heard this… especially during their early days? But that’s just it. During those early days I received that advice more than once and not from any physical form, but from people and things I looked up on the internet. I didn’t have anybody I trusted enough to tell them that I was writing something long term, nor did I have anybody I trusted enough or who cared enough to want to read my work. So what did I do, I kept my words closely clutched to my chest. Now, however, I know I need to let someone read it through, but I’ve never had the practice of handing over something so important.

I’m currently writing chapter 4 and I want to introduce the beginning in a different way. Sadly, I have no idea what that would be at this point and what later progressions in the story it might change along with it. I keep scolding myself that I need to let someone read the beginning, at least up to where I’ve already written, but also, at the same time I talk myself out of it saying that it won’t matter if I’m just going to eventually change it anyway.

They struggle is real! I know I’ll figure it out. Well, I wish you all luck with whatever projects you have in the works as I ask you to wish me luck on mine. I want to update my blog more, and I’ve had quite the desire since arriving here in Colorado, so be on the lookout for whatever randomness I decide to babble on about next.


Author: FountainPenHandwriting

I love to read, watch tv, write, play sports, listen to music. I'm pretty much an average person. I have an insanely large family, but I love them all. I started this blog to get me back into the habit of writing everyday which I stopped doing for many different reasons. I do try to live up to what I tell people and what I project into the world. I can't promise to be interesting, funny, or, yes, even creative, but here we go anyway.

One thought on “A Start”

  1. Estella,
    I know we haven’t spoken much before now, but I too am a writer and can sympathize with the concerns you shared in this blog post. I’d very much like to get to know you better, as I’ve not known very many people as passionate about writing as you profess to be, and I feel we could both benefit from each others input. I’ll probably see you tomorrow at work. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you decided to come to Colorado.

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