I don’t know about you guys, but for me time just seems to be flying by. I can’t keep up with everything I need to do and everything I want to do. Some how something always gets pushed to the side for me to pick up later. We are nearing the end of Fall semester with only about 6 weeks left to go. I’m not prepared in the least. I feel as if I have learned nothing this whole semester. Last term, my freshman year, I felt like this both semesters and I thought it was only because I was still getting used to being a college student, but no. No, it’s happening again this year.
Maybe it will always feel like that. Feel like I’m constantly trying not to let the ends unravel, but hopefully I’ll be better at this next semester. I’ve done school for… oh, about 14 years now! Yes I’m counting from the time I started up until last year. I think I’m just running on fumes right now school wise. I’m just so beyond ready to be completely done with it. Don’t get me wrong, my school is great, and I do love it here. This place is beautiful and the people are very nice and it hold so much potential and opportunity for me as a writer, but at the same time I can’t help but wonder if this is truly the place I’m meant to be. For now though, until something eye opening happens I’m going to stay and try to make the most out of it.
Now, If I remember correctly, I think I promised to say something about my Halloween. Now that we are five days down the road from that night I have to say that sadly, my Halloween was really dull. The week before I attended a small masquerade ball put on by one of the sororities here, but it wasn’t anything extravagant, but I did have fun. I made my own mask and dressed up, something I never, or very rarely do and had a bit of fun.
While I was there though I couldn’t help but think the whole time how much I would absolutely love going to a lavish masquerade. Where all the women actually dress up in fancy ball gowns and the men are decked out in posh suits. Where the dance floor is large and glossy, the music classical instrumental, twinkling lights, champagne… just everything you’d expect at a ball. Only in my dreams right? I don’t think anybody actually holds such things anymore. But it would be amazing to be a part of something so magical.
But yes, that was my Halloween. Other than that night I didn’t have a costume, I didn’t go out and eat candy or spend time with anybody now that I think about it. I stayed in my room going over notes and things preparing for my NaNo. I know how boring am I, right? I don’t always want to be boring, that’s just kind of what always happens. It’s so hard to live out the person you see yourself as in your mind.
The one thing Halloween did give me was a stronger urge to write a horror story. I’ve always loved the genre. I love to be scared and get my heart pumping, which I think is one of the attributes to riding roller coasters and riding on the arch at six flags that just has you harnessed to a rope, even though I’m terrified of heights.
The thing that has always stopped me from writing a horror story is that what most people find scary, I don’t and what I find scary, others don’t. I just don’t think I’ll connect very well with what I am writing and I am a firm believer that if the author doesn’t feel the emotions of their own words than the reader won’t either. The feeling is there, the want is there and maybe one day I’ll find the words and the right mind set to write my horror.
But, until that day comes I will be diligently working on my Nano. This is day 4 of NaNoWriMo and I’m doing well. I actually, at this time, haven’t started my word count for the day, which I should get started on soon if I want to reach my word count by midnight. I have made my word count the previous days and I have over 6,000 words. There are many NaNo-ers who have over 13,00 right now, but I’m working by my time and I am right on schedule.
The thing I found ironic with this blog is all the talk of time and how I don’t have enough and how I can’t keep up with it, well it all goes back to my story for NaNo. The story I’m writing is all about time and how there are those who can command it’s power and use it for their own means. Before I started this I had this whole Idea of what the story would be. I wanted it to be more set in a fictional world, but my story seems to have a mind of it’s own and it’s turning out to be almost everything I didn’t plan for. The main plot twists and story line are still set, but the way it’s all unfolding and the world the characters are set in have completely changed. I’m having fun writing it. I hope that one day you all will get the chance to read it because I’m trying to make it nothing like a time traveler story. That’s not what this is at all.
Well, I hope everybody had a wonderful, scary, Halloween. I will see you guys soon as I will be back… not talking about NaNo, but something entirely different that I am so excited for this November. I can’t wait until is gets closer to the time where I can share my excitement with you all because once the time is here trust me you won’t be able to get me to shut up about it, much like I am with NaNo. Also, hopefully by Christmas I’ll have a book review for you all. With everything that’s going on I don’t have as much time to read. I might sneak 5 pages in here and there when I’m waiting for my classes to start.
Well, I’ll see you guys soon and for any of you doing NaNo don’t be shy to add me as a writing buddy.